VMZ: Where Are Blake Baggett and Justin Hill?

There are a lot of rumors and speculation going around the pits of Monster Energy Supercross regarding the whereabouts of Justin Hill and Blake Baggett. The two riders no showed at Houston 1 and 2, and have been ghosts for months. I feel like I went on a fun Tinder date and they never called me again. Well, thankfully you have clicked on Troy Dog’s column, and you know I have all the answers.

In just a few short months I have become the go to doggy of motocross and supercross news. Yup, I am just a guy that goes to absolutely zero races, but I have incredible sources that may or may not be real. So, let’s get to it, as we here at VMZ have a couple theories on where these two might be.

The first good source I heard from (I cannot give them up or will not be a real media person) might have said that Justin joined the “Find the Abominable Snowman” ranks up in the Arctic Circle. Apparently, there is a big cult that thinks a giant snow monster is just out and about hunting and gathering all day. Hill seems like the type that would want to hike in the frozen tundra all day so this theory could be correct. 

We heard that Baggett might have been abducted by aliens. He has been tracking them for months and he figured it was about time to get up abducted by one. He embarked to the desert and did some weird “abduct me voodoo” and voila, they sucked him into a spaceship. We have had strange suspicions that Blake might be an alien over the years. So, he might have just gone to his home planet. Think about it: have you ever heard the dude say one sentence that made sense in an interview? 

I have this other source that thinks Ralph Sheheen, Hill, and Baggett are all stranded on a deserted island. They have always wanted to go on a cool boat ride and during a pandemic it was the perfect time for a little dude bonding. Ralph went with the two riders as a tour guide. It was only supposed to be a three-hour tour. Now the trio might be stuck somewhere on a deserted island. No movie star, professor, or Mary Ann, this shit might be real… and I think I lost just about all of you on the Gilligan’s Island reference.

My last source may have told me that Hill is studying Muay Thai in Thailand. How he got to another country with the travel bans in place is beyond me. He may have walked there from Washington State. As you may have noticed last season, Justin was quick to pick a fight with the “tuff block wall” before every main event. The tuff block is a tough fight obviously by its name, so Hill was tired of getting his ass beat. Now he is just planning his revenge in a different country studying kick boxing or whatever the bleep Muay Thai is. Will we see Hill come out swinging soon? Stay tuned.

If you have any other clues on where Justin Hill or Blake Baggett are, please contact Unsolved Mysteries at troy@vurbmoto.com. I will put some clues together and we can revisit this column if needed. Oh, and you’re welcome for maybe getting to some answers to this mess.

3 Comments

  1. Omg I got to three hour tour and I was thinking, “What an epic reference!” Then you spelled it out, but I thought it was awesome nonetheless. Great job there. This is journalism at its finest.

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Written by Troy Dog

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