If Riders Were WWF Superstars

Llllleeeettt’s get ready to rummmmbbbbbllllle! 

(If you didn’t read that in the voice of the great “Mean” Gene Okurland, stop reading this right now. You’re not worthy.)

[Slaw Note: Bird is a moron and got his announcers confused. Mean Gene is NOT know for Let’s Get Ready to Rumble.]

Growing up in the ’80s and ’90s I, along with anyone else who was cool as hell and had tons of swag, loved WWF Wrestling. Wrestlemania was like Christmas and my brothers and I owned every action figure there was. We also used to dress up like wrestlers and beat the piss out of each other in our basement. Ahh, the good ole’ days. 

While watching all the aggression at Anaheim 1, I couldn’t help but relate it to the glory days I spent watching the WWF. My brain took off like a rocket and I spent the better part of the main event trying to decide which rider best matched up with which wrestler. 

We’re going to make this a weekly feature until we run out of comparisons. First up on the list is Justin Barcia and Jason Anderson. 

Note that we have a full time designer. Also note that I’m NOT the full time designer. I googled how to merge faces in photoshop and watched a five minute video, so cut me some slack.

I hope you enjoy. If so, leave a comment and maybe we’ll do more of these in the future. 

The Ultimate Warrior + Justin Barcia = The Ultimate Barcia

No one carried the swag and struck fear into his competitors like the Ultimate Warrior. Enter the ring with him and chances were you were leaving on a stretcher. It only seemed fitting to compare him to “Bam Bam” Barcia. The Warrior shaking the ropes after a pin is like Barcia revving his 450 as he stalks the competition like prey. Jason Anderson was his latest victim, but he’s merely one in a long line that have left a main with Barcia colored plastic on their bike. 

Ravishing Rick Rude + Marvin Musquin = Ravishing Marvin Rude

Why? I honestly don’t know. Ravishing Rick Rude was always smooth as hell, but he was also feared. Musquin, while smooth as a fresh set of silk sheets, never struck me as a rider that others feared, until A1 that is. We heard rumors that Musquin was looking aggressive heading into 2022, and damn did he prove it. He slammed Malcolm Stewart so hard I almost felt it from the comfort of my own couch. Ricky Carmichael called it “fairly aggressive” which was an understatement. 

Booker T Washington + Malcolm Stewart = Stewart T Washington

[Slaw Note: Bird is a moron and messed up his Booker’s. Our bad.]

Stewart was on the receiving end at A1, but he’s never been shy to jump in the ring when called. Something tells me Musquin hasn’t seen the last of the Rockstar Energy Husky’s newest signee. 

Jake the Snake Robertson + Vince Friese = Vince the Snake Friese

I’m just going to leave this one here, as it should be fairly self explanatory. 

Brutus the Barber Beefcake + Jason Anderson = Jason the Barber Beefcake

I was impressed with how Anderson responded after getting punted by Barcia at A1. As I wrote in a previous post, he took one on the chin and took it like a man. Anderson, while calm, cool and collected off the track, isn’t one to be trifled with once the gate drops. And while he played it cool after A1, something tells me that while he may forgive, he’s not one to forget. Keep an eye on this rivalry moving forward. 


  1. Booker T Washington was a author and educator in the late 1800’s and early 1900’s. Booker T Huffman is the wrestler you are speaking of. Takes 15 seconds of research to figure that out.

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Written by Bird Dog

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