A few weeks, or months, ago (time doesn’t really exist for me anymore) a challenge fell into my lap via Twitter. Kirk “Kirk Dog” Newman, who is also known as my fantasy nemesis @Playerk13, is head of the RedBud security team. They fight crime one overweight, beer guzzling, corn dog eating, American Motocross fan at a time. Kirk has put many a man in a headlock a time or two. Yes I just made that last part up, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it were true.
We could have used you this summer when a fan rolled down the hill and up AND over a sitting Grant Harlan. Har Dog was just sitting peacefully on the hillside. Yes, that is a true story and could have injured MY athlete.
I’m not here to make jokes this week. What I’m about to say is very serious and I need all of you to focus for a second. Kirk Dog just watched this famous edition of National Security from RedBud in 2009 and straight up said:
Reading this tweet from Kirk Dog was the equivalent to watching your mom getting slapped by your dad in front of everyone at Christmas dinner…and not in the good way. I couldn’t believe he would just discredit OUR crew like that. During the summer of 2009 Stew Dog got away with everything to get into the pits and only really got in bad trouble one time at Southwick (I’ll save that one for another time). It was unbelievable how easily he pulled this stuff off. He is a natural and PUSHED THE LIMITS of what a man sneaking into an event is capable of.
Look here Kirk Dog, we might be older, have some gray hair, and even sit down to pee like Bird and Chili do, however WE ARE vurbmoto! Our legendary Stew Dog accepted your puny lil’ challenge and WE ARE BRINGING OUT ALL THE STOPS. Will we show up to the National or the MXoN? Or, just not at all. You’ll be on your toes the entire time looking for us.
One thing that is a fact for sure: You can look all you want, but we will already be in the pits. We will have filmed everything and Chili Dog will have it edited faster than you can say Japan Four. I was at RedBud this summer and asked everyone with an event t-shirt if they were you and you weren’t around. I could have just done this then. Stew Dog sends me in for that light work sometimes.
Therefore, Mr. Kirk Dog, head of security at RedBud and popsicle slinger, don’t ever mess with the vurbmoto bull, because we bring the horns or something like that. I don’t even know what that means.
We will always win. Good day, sir. I SAID GOOD DAY.
Enjoy this blast for the past with Stew Dog everyone. We will see YOU at RedBud.