Unquotables: Seattle

If you’re new to Unquotables, welcome aboard matey! This is a weekly feature that is filled with quotes that were definitely NOT said by anyone. In fact, Coney Island Dog made them up! It’s completely satire and we love that for us.

Without further ado, these are things that definitely WERE NOT said by the riders or personnel after the fifth round of the 2024 Monster Energy Supercross Championship, but we all know they were thinking it.

Jett Lawrence: “Hitting the back of the bike in front, with my front wheel, is a good way to make a pass.”

Cooper Webb: “My forearms were hard, like morning wood.”

Will Christien: “Ummmm…”

TV Audience: “Finally, she’s speechless!”*

*All those things actually happened

Hunter Lawrence: “I feel they should start giving out points for heat races…”

Aaron Plessinger: “I knew I was far enough behind the leader, that my run through the whoops to challenge Jett would be shown on TV, and besides, it was on Jett, who they always have a camera on… so I really don’t understand how they could be showing shots of the crowd when this happened?!”

Levi Kitchen: “In case you didn’t know, I’m actually from around these parts.”

Jordon Smith: “It was great riding that GEICO Honda at Washougal this weekend. I felt good in that second moto, and I can’t wait to win the WSX Championship in Dubai next time out.”

Ken Roczen: “LCQs are fun. I didn’t know what I’d been missing out on, all this time.”

Main Image: Octopi Media

Written by Coney Island Dog

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