Unquotables: Detroit

If you’re new to Unquotables, welcome aboard matey! This is a weekly feature that is filled with quotes that were definitely NOT said by anyone. In fact, Coney Island Dog made them up! It’s completely satire and we love that for us.

Without further ado, these are things that definitely WERE NOT said by the riders or personnel after the fifth round of the 2024 Monster Energy Supercross Championship, but we all know they were thinking it.

Haiden Deegan: “I can’t remember if I’m meant to blame this injury, or if I’m meant to not even admit I got injured. It’s all very confusing.”
Schedule creator: “Giving those 250 LCQ guys three minutes to get ready for the main event is a genius idea!”
Daxton Bennick: “Hey, is there a responsible adult around who can help me open this bottle of liquid, I’m not actually legally allowed to be anywhere near.”
Max Anstie: “Don’t worry Daxton, back in my day when I was a young whippersnapper like yourself, I also struggled getting the cork popped. Which leads me to a funny story that I would go into, but I don’t like to speak too much.”
Austin Forkner: “I wasn’t worried about that start at all.”
Eli Tomac: “There wasn’t actually anything wrong. I just like to throw in a curveball every now and again to really get the internet something to talk about, and seeing as Jett’s been stealing my thunder with the whole Ando deal, this seemed like a good time to do it.”
AMA Official: “We have a rule where if 11 riders get collected in a start crash, we red flag it, but that was only 10, so it was all good.”
Tom Vialle: “Marvin’s been flipped off, Dylan’s been flipped off, so I feel like it is a rite of passage for any French dude coming to America. Yeeeehaaawwww.”

Main Image: Octopi Media

Written by Coney Island Dog

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