Ralph Sheheen Won’t Return To Call Supercross and Troy Dog Is Big Mad

Whoa, what in the world just happened? The press release for the 2021 Monster Energy Supercross TV schedule dropped recently and it was all fine and dandy until I am reading through all the details and I noticed something very important: Ralph “Freaking” Sheheen is not slated to continue his run as the greatest supercross announcer of our lifetime.

Troy Dog is appalled by this change. You are telling me that the legend Mr. Sheheen is just out? I know for a fact that Ralphie Dog wanted in in 2021, so it’s not like he had other things on the table that would prevent him from coming back for a record 15th season.  

You put Leigh Diffey in there last year for a few rounds as a tryout? Right in front of Ralph’s face. Oh, and here is the best part: they are bringing back Todd Harris to do some rounds as well. Yes, so where have you been Todd? The last time I saw you Bird Dog had not even gone through puberty and I’m pretty sure Slaw Dog was still in diapers. Hang on, Slaw might still wear diapers.

This is how it is going to be? What are we going to do now? Are you guys going to bring back Cameron Steele and Jamie little too? Good luck getting Jamie she is way too good for us now. What about Erin Bates? Let’s bring back Dave Despain and Larry Huffman then too and have the entire gang back.

Do you think this entire situation is all Troy Dog’s fault? Did I jinx Ralph last week with my memorable column? Was my column so fire that the bigwigs at Feld felt Ralph might need a pay raise because of his newfound fame? I have many questions and none of this makes sense. I am just hurt. We all love Ralph—he gave me two microphone knuckle checkered flags for chrissakes.

What am I going to do now when a good battle is going on in the main event? Is Leigh really going to bring enough thunder to get me through it? We will have to wait and see, but I might be on strike.

I feel bad that Ralph was just thrown out this way, but I guess this is business. Ralph will rise from the ashes again my friend. This is NOT the last you have seen of him. He is still gulping pickle juice, eating his Ricollas, and whipping those Dig Dugs into shape. Ralph will go back into his laboratory and concoct a new serum to keep his vocals one hundred through this small break. God bless Ralph and God save this series.


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Written by Troy Dog

Slower than Slaw Dog

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