Unquotables: Birmingham

If you’re new to Unquotables, welcome aboard matey! This is a weekly feature that is filled with quotes that were definitely NOT said by anyone. In fact, Coney Island Dog made them up! It’s completely satire and we love that for us.

Without further ado, these are things that definitely WERE NOT said by the riders or personnel after the ninth round of the 2024 Monster Energy Supercross Championship, but we all know they were thinking it.

AMA Official: “We once again use the ‘dart board’ technique when deciding Deegan’s penalty.

Different AMA Official: “Besides, we were too busy concentrating on getting the card girl off the track safely.”

Journalists: “Don’t worry, it’s definitely not our job to ask about the monster girl incident.”

Monster Girl: “What are all these bikes doing on my leisurely Saturday night stroll?”

Monster Energy Boss: “Cooper, whatever you do, don’t mention almost hitting the card girl.”

Cooper Webb: “I had some early race mistakes.”

Monster Energy Boss: “Good work. Have a blank cheque.”

Track Spotter: “Vialle is out front, we should probably show him being really good.”

TV Producer: “Focus on Deegan. At. All. Times.”

Main Image: Octopi Media

Written by Coney Island Dog

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