Troy Dog’s Shack: Levi Kitchen Will Be An All-Time Great (Don’t @ Me, Bro)

Look, bro, I am ALL in on Levi Kitchen becoming one of the all-time greats in the sport. Before you say, “Troy Dog you’re dumb and you can’t say that” well, I am NOT DUMB (Slaw is) and I CAN say whatever I want. [Slaw note: I can edit anything I want out of his pieces. Carry on.] It is Troy Dog’s Shack for crying out loud. I have my own landing page in the dropdown Words category. I am pretty sure I know what I am talking about here. I am elite dammit! I will show you in 600 words how to make a point.

Anyway, back to the column. Levi Kitchen was on absolutely nobody’s radar before Loretta Lynn’s National last August and to be fair his results to that point did not stand out. That all changed when he went six for six in his B classes and he won every moto by at least THREE DAYS. If I were a team manager I would have Bobby Reagan’d up onto the podium and told the crowd I just signed him to a lifetime deal. It would be the second lifetime deal in the sport’s history behind my own deal with HEP Suzuki. I would throw everything I had at the kid and his sink to make sure he signed with my team.

As I said in my post Loretta’s column, “Levi Kitchen’s rides were so exciting that I pooped myself and had to use the Levi bathroom,” I felt that, and I still mean it. I do want to say that I have never met the kid and I am purely just using the eye test for greatness. It is the same eye test that I used on Cooper Webb back in 2010 in his Supermini days. He promised me that I could have his jersey that week and I never went to get it after the race. I still lay awake at night with an anxious sweat knowing that jersey could be hanging in my basement at this moment. Coop, you still got that jersey, bro?

Since Loretta’s, Kitchen has improved his stock by a billion positive points, or however the heck the stock market works. He signed on with Star Yamaha (shocker…no one saw that coming) and as their 95th rider he is still getting jiggy with it. The Weege even confirmed my suspicion when he brought it up on the Racer X Arlington 3 Review pod that Levi was in fact beating some of his professional teammates. In my mind, he is beating all of them. The Weege also reported that Levi’s speed cannot be ignored and that he must turn pro at Hangtown, or whatever the opener is this year. I interpret this news as the kid will never be losing a race his entire career.

Kitchen is so good…how good is he? Kitchen is so good that he needs a Monster, Rockstar, and Red Bull deal. He will carry and drink out of all cans on the podium. He also is going to need you to step off him when he becomes a sensation thissSummer. Kitchen’s riding style looks like if you blended Windham, Plessinger, and add a smidge of the raw sprint speed of Roczen. I would say Stew speed, but let us be honest, no one in history will ever be as fast as Bubba. [Note: I will call a grown man Bubba forever.]

Also, before you start to complain to me that he is only dominating because he is like 20 already. I know his age. He is peaking at the perfect moment and now his good ten years will happen in the peak of his life. I have all of this figured out. Kitchen is going to cook all these dudes a delicious meal of roost at every race. You just wait and see.

If you want to get in touch with Troy Dog you can email him at troy@vurbmoto.com, whether it be a story idea, to talk about a previous column, or even if it is to say hi. Troy will answer all emails sent. Also be sure to follow @troydogvurb on Instagram and Twitter.

Avatar

Written by Troy Dog

Slower than Slaw Dog

Vurb, PulpMX Have Entered Intense Negotiations Over YouTube Thumbnail Usage

Hot Damn, Phil Nicoletti Is Returning to Pro Motocross