The Dog and Donut Show

Troy Dog must be getting old. As I’m browsing social media Sunday night, I noticed a comment that says something about Justin Cooper and Jett Lawrence with something along the lines of “they are going at it!” 

Cool! Drama! I dig!

I’m super into it and I couldn’t click fast enough on Cooper’s Instagram. Just before I click the story, I say to myself, “What lies behind this is going to be amazing!” Like maybe someone got arrested or they got into a fist fight after the race. I fell asleep during the race because it was so freaking boring so this will spice up my day. No matter what it’s going to be the manliest shit ever.

Then…I click…click again…and again…and one more time. I must have missed something. I go through the story again. I go to Lawrence’s story. Same thing. That’s it? That’s your whole dog and donut show? (See what I did there?) As if this stupid year couldn’t get any dumber we have two of the most promising 250 class riders in recent history going back and forth on an Instagram story posting about which one is more unprofessional. The weapons of choice? A freaking dog and a glazed pastry. 

What happened to the good old days when we flipped rental cars or flipped each other off or banged on the doghouse or wheelied a bike into someone’s face? Also, why did the original J-Law take part in everything I just listed?

Gone are the days where we would hear about so and sos girlfriend sleeping with another rider. That’s cause for beef! This so called “new age beef” that I saw on Instagram calls for sprinkles and glitter. Guys, you are two of the fastest riders in the world. You both have the most upside in the sport. Don’t do this to yourselves. If you do, please don’t do it like this.

You’ve gotta go harder. Talk crap on literally anything else than what you just did. You got me? No one won. It was unprofessional on both sides. You can do whatever you want on the podium. Like, you could literally take a big deuce on it and it would be okay. You could take 7 deuce deuces for all we care. You earned that dump. Eat a donut. Bring your dog. Let your dog shit on it.

That settles that. One more thing before I get off this topic. I read a lot of comments on this situation from the fans. I should know better than to read these, but I wanted to see what the “true fans who know everything” had to say. I learned a lot and you guys are doing great. You’re very knowledgeable. 

Two things.

One, don’t egg this crap on. This isn’t beef. This is vegetables. This is dry ass vegetables with no salt. It’s amazing to me that people are actually fighting over this. 

Two, do not pick a side on this. Don’t put your two cents in on who is right and who is wrong. Justin and Jett are both wrong. Neither rider accomplished anything. It was so soft I thought they were joking around. Fans, you don’t have a dog in the fight. So stay out of it. This is weird and we should all be uncomfortable watching it unfold. 

We are all dumber for having to witness this. I award you no points and may God have mercy on your soul. 

One Comment

  1. The Billy Maddison line in the end turned a good article into a great one 😂
    Seriously, great job to whoever wrote this. You’re a good writer and you know how to keep the reader engaged.

Avatar

Written by Troy Dog

Slower than Slaw Dog

Red Bull Imagination Preview: This is DOPE

Joey Crown Returning to ClubMX Team For 2021