Karen’s Corner: RIP Anaheim 1

When we ran across Karen at a local motocross track berating anyone and everyone around, we knew we had to let her write for us, because, well, she’s very “unique” and that’s what we do here at Vurb. Keep in mind, her opinions do not reflect ours or anyone on the staff at Vurb. Karen has her own opinions about things, which she likes to voice.

It’s Barcia week on my favorite website and seeing as The Frog is my all-time favorite rider, I decided this was the perfect time to complain about some things that are ticking me off.

Let me be completely honest and say that there are few things in this world I love more than freedom, asking to speak to the manager and Mountain Dew, and those are Justin Barcia and Anaheim 1, both of which are being taken from me as we speak.

Look, I love surfing and catching rays while wearing a beanie as much as the next Karen, but California is pissing me off. Let’s just say that some of the decision makers in that state need a big high five. In the face. With a chair.

You know what I always say, an apple a day keeps anyone away if your throw it hard enough. And there’s a long list of people I’d like to throw a Granny Smith at.

Here’s my gripe. Justin Barcia has won the last two openers AT A1. Not H1! A1 sounds cool, H1 sounds like a strain of the flu. They can play football in California but they can’t race motorcycles? Football players practically make love to each other they exchange so many fluids, but that’s ok and rubbing a little plastic isn’t? Look, I ain’t very political, so don’t put Karen in a box and assume you know how I think. The truth is I just want what’s fair, and that is Justin Barcia tossing up a deuce on the podium after performing a hat trick… IN ANAHEIM!

Apparently the whole thing has to do with fan attendance, and this Karen is all about safety. I have a special folder on my laptop with emails I’ve sent to my state representative. And kudos to Texas for allowing a few diehards the ability to watch the greatest sport on Earth, but you can’t tell me social distancing isn’t possible in a stadium as big as Anaheim!

Before calling the governor and asking to speak with someone in charge, I decided to do a little research on his past results from Houston. He placed ninth in 2015, third in 2018, and 17th in 2019! Obviously H-Town isn’t as kind to the blond haired God of SX as A-Town and I’m blaming California and damn Covid for putting his 2021 title in jeopardy. I now have a call into Newsom. It’s my 51st one this year and I’ve yet to receive any response. Typical!

And look, I ain’t blaming Feld for this either. You think they DON’T WANT to be in Cali? The literal home of most of the industry? Umm… they do, but they ain’t controlling this matter.

I also caught wind that Newsom signed an ambitious executive order to ban the sale of new combustion-engine vehicles in the state starting in 2035. More on that in my next rant, but I’m seriously about to Karen all over this dude right now. I drive a 1987 Ford Bronco while pulling a KX500 for my man lover, and you’ll have to pry that steering wheel out of my cold dead hands. I know he said “new cars” but I can only imagine where this rabbit hole goes.

Until next time, remember McDonald’s kills and the moon landing was fake.

Karen, out.

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