It is about time to start racing again and you know what that means: our 250 veterans are another year older and, with all due respect, some of these guys are old as shit! Hey, I said with all due respect, so that means you can’t get mad at Troy Dog.
Some of you might not know you are getting too old, but that’s okay I’m here to help. If you are one or more of these following statements in the list, you may be too old for the 250 class.
Some of you might be big mad because of this list, but that is on you to single yourself out. As always, email all complaints to Slaw Dog. Slaw Dog is old too… and super slow [Slaw Note: Fast].
10.) Your teammates refer to you as grandpa and make fun of the limp you walk with.
9.) You have said the following statement: “Back in my day the whoops were so much bigger, but the payout is the same.”
8.) You have brought your 8- and 6-year-old up on the podium with you… 7 years ago.
7.) Your teammates are now the same age as your own kids.
6.) You’re racing the children of racers you used to race against.
5.) You were there when GEICO Honda started… and now you have seen how it ended.
4.) When Chase Sexton was in diapers you were slaying chicks and pounding brews at Lake Havasu with McGrath, Emig, and the great Den Dog.
3.) “Year one was a learning year… year two I’m going to be a top five guy… year three I’m going to be on the podium at every round… year four is my year… but I got hurt… year five the championship is as good as mine. “
2.) You have ridden for all the 250 teams… twice.
1.) Your once super-hot ex-monster chick wife’s skin now looks like pieces of microwaved bacon.
Glad we could clear this up for all of you. Good luck this season and remember, if you don’t win the championship this year, then at least you have next year.
Main image: Feld