Ask the Vurb Staff Anything | Edition 1

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From John

Hi beautiful Vurb people, 

Question 1: Ryno gives out valuable training lessons and opinions on IG, but says nothing about how he keeps his nipples rock hard at all times. Have any insight on that? Inquiring minds want to know. 

Question 2: My wife is totally on-board will all the silly dirtbike things I tell her I need. How do I get her to do that ‘thing’ she used to do before the “I do” turned into “I don’t do that anymore”. 

Time is of the essence here, it’s a matter of life and death. Please fill me in on my concerns! 

Thanks Vurb!

Question 1 | Bird Dog

I’ve spent the last year studying what I call “The Life of Ryan.” As such I consider myself the highest achieving expert in this field. Early on I actually wrote about his impressive nipples and since have continued my investigation. I also look in the mirror nightly and shame myself on my poor excuse for nipples. I’ve spent our entire budget on scientific research, from Harvard to Yale, the brightest minds in the world remain in awe. Those things can actually cut glass, which only leads me to believe they are made of diamonds. Given this discovery I’m leaning towards the conclusion that Ryno isn’t actually of human form, but a finely tuned alien sent down to study the baddest humans on the planet (motocross riders) and report back to the mother ship on his findings. More study needs to be done so please stay tuned for future updates.

Question 2 | Slaw:

Dearest, John,

Seeing as I’m the only member of the Vurb staff not married, I feel I’m best equipped to help you in your journey. 

First, you are off to a great start having a wife that supports your outrageously expensive “hobby”. I don’t know the level of your riding abilities, but I’m sure that 25-Plus championship at Chickenlick Raceway sits high on your mantel in the living room. 

Secondly, continue to do whatever you like. It will totally work out. Trust in Slaw.

Question 2 | Bird Dog

Slaw has no experience here. Lucky for you the rest of us do. Unfortunately, we are also puzzled by this. If you figure anything out consider yourself hired and the new CEO of Vurb.

From Dream Dog

This one goes out to Bird Dog. I have a business background in the corpo world but my dream is to work in moto. I’ve worked in finance, sales and have some accounting background. What would your advice be to push my career into the wonderful world of moto?

Bird Dog: Dream Dog! First off, I love the name. Dream big young doggie. Kudos to you on what sounds like a stellar background. While using your skills in moto would still likely put you behind a computer screen for hours on end, it’s much cooler working for a company that you believe in than one that you don’t. And you’ll probably get free supercross tickets and hang out in one of the cool corpo boxes. More good news is there’s TONS of opportunity for educated business people with experience, especially if you don’t mind working your way up. Smaller companies likely won’t have the budget or the need, but keep an eye on some of the big boys! Manufacturers, larger brands, etc. These guys process thousands, if not millions of transactions every year and that requires a solid back office staff to support.

Definitely not checkerz448
Why are all the kinds of dogs not given away at the Vurb Ride Days, and why isn’t there a most popular dog contest at each of them… winner gets a claw bonus perhaps? Only makes sense right?

Slaw: Definitely not checkerz448, I feel like I have just been given the “We’re not made, we’re just disappointed” speech from my parents. As leader of Slaw Nation, I can only apologize from he bottom of my bun and promise that Slaw Nation can do better in the future. WE will fix this matter.

Have a question for the Vurb staff? Drop a comment below or email us at [email protected]

Written by Slaw Dog

Just a dog trying to find my special bun.

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