Cops Definitely Not Called to Chase Sexton’s After Party
Sexton’s after party looked more like a 12 year olds first boy/girl party. We can’t imagine what didn’t make the photo? Balloons? Maybe a piñata? We guess there’s a reason he’s won back to back titles and we had trouble keeping a dirtbike website from going out of business. Congrats to Sexton and the team on back to back titles. Win the 450 title next year and the pies are on us!
Reed to Join Frank Thomas as Nugenix Ambassador
Feel like you’re slowing down? Don’t have the energy or drive you once had? Struggling to get back in shape? Once you reach your 40’s, everything changes. After a world class career, we heard rumors (mainly rumors we started amongst each other) that Reed could be looking to join the Big Hurt in his quest to get 40-year-old dudes back in shape. As aging members of the media, this is actually more appealing to us every day.
Whose Fault was it Anyways?
While the crash between Colt Nichols and Chase Sexton was 100% Colt Nichols fault, the internet and Vital MX officials can’t seem to agree. Seeing as we’re smarter than everyone else (in our own opinion) we’ll put this to rest right now. The crash that nearly took Sexton out of the title hunt, and ultimately took Nichols out of the race, was definitely Nichols fault. Though we don’t believe it was intentional. How could it be? It’s not like his teammate, who was also in the title hunt, was leading at the time.
Did Ralph Sheheen Ruin a Cool Nickname?
We’ve always thought El Hombre was one of the coolest nicknames in the game. Did Sheheen single handedly ruin that during the last seven rounds? As if this whole thing weren’t Groundhogs day enough, Sheheen managed to fit in the fact that “people call him El Hombre” at least seven times per race. It’s like having a cool new pair of kicks only to see your old man wearing the same set when he takes your mom out to eat. They just don’t feel the same after that.
Cade Clason Earns More from Pulp than Actual Purse Money
We’re too lazy to do the actual research, but did Pulp just pay the privateers more than the actual series? Our boy Steve Matthes was able to pad Clason’s wallet with over 31k through the Yamaha Motor USA LCQ Challenge. That’s more than most small dope dealers make in a year, or so we’ve heard. Either way, props to Clason and to Pulp for doing good things.
Science Community Agrees: Dad Strength Propels Tomac to Title
Taking a break from COVID-19 research, the science community has unanimously agreed that Tomac’s newly anointed dad strength was the primary reason for his title success. Think about it? What’s the only thing that changed from his previous shortcomings? Yep, a baby. Reports also noted that he can now unscrew any pickle jar in the world, fix a broken tail light, and now wears flip flops with socks. Welcome to the club.
Carboard Cutout Crowd Boos Ferrandis
It’s the ugly side of sports and something we don’t condone. Having been booed at Anaheim and again by the internet trolls, Ferrandis was the most excited rider on the gate to not have a crowd during the final seven rounds. What he didn’t anticipate was the cardboard cutout crowd. They’re a vicious bunch, but seemed to subside after seeing him cry on the podium. Little did they know they were tears of joy.