Troy Dog
The crap talking started on January 22, immediately following the Kansas City Chiefs very close win against the Jacksonville Jaguars. I, Troy Dog, a very casual Bengals fan, was rocked by a text from Manluk/Rock River Yamaha’s Benny Bloss. It was a gif of Patrick Mahomes scoring a touchdown. This premeditated text had been in the works since the week leading up to the December 4th regular season game between the two teams. The Bengals got the dub that week and at the time were 3-0 against Kansas City in the two year span with Joe Burrow, with two victories on the road. Below is a walkthrough of our emotional rollercoaster ride of the week leading up to the AFC Championship game as well as our in-game mental breakdowns.
Saturday January 22, 2023
T-Dog: See you next week!
Benny: Haha should be a good one. Hopefully Mahomes is somewhat healthy.
T-Dog: Any word about his injury?
Benny: High ankle sprain
T-Dog: You can race with one of those
*On Thursday I checked in to touch on a wide variety of topics including a Chiz reference.
Thursday January 26, 2023
T-Dog: I need your feelings heading into Sunday’s game. Are you confident in your team?
Benny: I’m feeling very confident.
T-Dog: You guys only had to play one game to get to the championship game…does it bother you knowing that you basically have the playoffs handed to you?
Benny: It’s not easy being the best, but they just continue to do it hahaha
T-Dog: Do you think that Trevor Lawrence looks like Chiz with longer hair?
Benny: I could see maybe a little bit, but for the most part no.
T-Dog: How do you feel about Jackson and Brittany Mahomes?
Benny: All I will say is that it’s been nice not seeing much about them this year haha. I do have a question for you. How do the Bengals feel about Eli Apple?
T-Dog: I can’t speak for everyone, but his Cancun on 3 tweet wasn’t about Damar (Hamlin). I don’t like talking like that before another big game. I usually like when other teams do it to the Bengals, so they can shut them down. Apple is good, but I hope he doesn’t get cooked against the Chiefs. Are you going to the game?
Benny: He just talks so much on Twitter, but I don’t feel like he’s that good. I will not be there. If it was closer then maybe.
T-Dog: Oh, Eli is definitely a liability on D. He’s like Patrick Beverley from the NBA right now.
Benny: 1000% Like it’s one thing for (Joe) Burrow or (Ja’Marr) Chase to talk shit, but they back it up lol
T-Dog: Exactly and Mahomes I’ve never actually heard him talk.
Sunday January 29, 2023
T-Dog: How are you after this (Travis) Kelce update?
Benny: I haven’t seen it. I’m on a plane. I saw he was questionable the other day. I just looked it up.
T-Dog: You better get home in time!
Benny: Haha I get home five minutes before kickoff.
T-Dog: Despite all the injuries I’m still nervous.
Benny: Hahahaha there’s been so much talking from the Bengals.
T-Dog: Mayor*
Benny: Do you support his comments?
T-Dog: Absolutely not! That was horrible. I was embarrassed for everyone involved. I don’t even like people calling it Burrowhead Stadium.
Benny: (crying laughing emojis)
T-Dog: It’s timeeeee!!!! I just want you to know that I hate this.
*It’s a very tense game and with it being so close and Benny commuting from the airport home we don’t talk until the fourth quarter.
Benny: Why? It’s so frustrating watching my team. They make so many mistakes.
T-Dog: I’ve spent 30 years of my life watching this team lose and I’m sweating it. You guys are hurt and still awesome.
Benny: Yeah, 4 guys out of this game and Mahomes and Kelce playing hurt is not awesome. I do not believe that the Chiefs will win this.
T-Dog: This is a rollercoaster of emotion. What a good game.
Benny: There has been some bad calls.
*The Chiefs drop back to punt and give Burrow two and a half minutes to run it down the field. I’m panic pacing. Ginger Dog, my wife, goes into the kitchen and turns the lights off with a glass of Bourbon.
T-Dog: Oh Benny I can’t do this buddy.
Benny: Chiefs forgot how to tackle.
T-Dog: Why did you not go for the field goal?
Benny: Didn’t think he could make it I guess. This is the worst officiating I’ve ever seen.
*The Bengals can’t get down field and Mahomes gets pushed out of bounds by Joseph Ossai. At this point the Chiefs bring out their kicker in which I understand that this one is over.
T-Dog: It’s been unorganized. Congrats man. Crazy game.
Benny: Wow, that was crazy.
For Benny, his team lived to fight another day. They got their redemption from last season. Benny is going to the Super Bowl. The only thing I can really do is buy him a Bengals shirt and deliver it to him at a race in the future. He’s truly earned every bit of this victory. We shall meet again next season sir. I hate that it ended this way. You taunted me and then your team backed you up. Although, I will say that you play some sick games on unsuspecting casual fans and get enjoyment out of it though.
Main image: Jessica Reed
