If anyone could be compared to the legendary Chuck Norris, it would surly be Weston Peick. Scratch that. Weston IS CHUCK NORRIS… only better! Yes, you read that correctly. Weston Peick > Chuck Norris. Yeah, I said it.
In honor of Peick’s official retirement announcement, I thought it would be a great idea to look back at some of his greatest moments in life that you might have missed. Now, my memory is a little foggy so you’ll have to sort through which ones are true and which ones I “might” have exaggerated.
The truth is, I’m scared shitless to write this piece. Weston, please do not come and kick me like you kicked your privateer RM-Z off the stand that one time.
(Deep sigh) Here goes nothing…
15.) Weston once threatened to give J-Bone (Jeremy Albrecht) a wedgie if he did not offer him a two-year deal. Yes, a full-grown man giving another full-grown man a super wedgie almost happened.
14.) How many push-ups can Weston do at once? All of them.
13.) In 2009 he finished ninth overall in the 450 Class at Glen Helen, which was his first pro race (I didn’t look this up, I remember the weirdest stats). He would have won. However, he knew he wanted to go from a “rags to riches” story so he sandbagged for a couple of years by barely making 450 main events.
12.) Weston had to stop eating slabs of concrete for breakfast because he started a leaner diet when he went to JGR. Switching to concrete smoothies allowed him to stop being constipated and he started shitting pebble rocks. These rocks helped landscape frugal Phil Nicoletti’s yard at the time. He got them for a deal obviously.
11.) At his Disney World wedding, Weston threatened to punch Goofy in the mouth because Pluto took a shit on the alter and Goofy told Weston he had to clean it up himself. Goofy ended up cleaning the mess.
10.) At the Fly Racing gear launch every year, Weston would arm wrestle every single person in attendance. If he won, they would buy $500 worth of product. If Weston lost, the person would buy a different brand. Weston NEVER lost and Fly kept signing the guy for this reason.
9.) He once ran a faster lap time than anybody else at the JGR test track. Like, he literally picked his bike up over his head and ran a lap.
8.) In order to take over the number 18 he threatened Davi Millsaps that he would tell everyone what was in his Kawasaki locker. Blackmail is a bitch.
7,) He once turned down a season of The Bachelor because he married a former Monster girl.
6.) Why was six afraid of seven? Because Weston ate nine (and washed it down with a concrete smoothie).
5.) If you thought Weston’s facial injuries were bad from his gnarly crash, you should have seen the jump he fought. Weston won that fight.
4.) Vince Friese once pushed Weston and… well we aren’t going there again.
3.) Weston’s RM-Z once looked at him wrong and he kicked the shit out of it.
2.) Weston has told 1,694 people to “Go F themselves” on Instagram. Those people went and did exactly that. This caused a giant baby boom.
1.) He once ate 36 bags of Ryno Power protein in three hours. Why you ask? Because he can.
To be honest, I made all of this up. Happy retirement from the sport, Weston! I enjoyed watching you kick the factory dudes’ asses over the years as a privateer. You are the last true privateer hero who made it to be an elite rider and podium contender. Good luck in your next ventures and continue eating those concrete smoothies. You are our hero.